Category Archives: judgement

The Only Person You Can Change Is Yourself!

We live in a world that is always trying to shape us into what someone else thinks or says we should be and the real problem with that scenario is that the shape is always changing depending on who happens to be holding to loudest bullhorn at the time.

Most of us have things we would like to change about ourselves and most everyone at some point in their lives can come up with a pretty good list of things they would like to change about others, but if you live your life long enough, you will learn pretty quickly that you cannot change others, no matter how much you think you love them and/or how much you think they love you.

There have been times in my life when I have convinced myself that I could love, encourage, inspire, educate and motivate others to change to be their best self and live their best life, only to eventually come to the realization that the only thing that can change another person is themselves.

If a person does not want to change, then they won’t, it is as simple as that. There is nothing you can do to change someone else, so stop trying to fix everyone else and work on yourself, because we all have enough of our own stuff to deal with.

If you don’t like or love someone the way they are, then that is your problem, even if they are wrong and even if they are cheating or hurting themselves, because their life is their life to decide for themselves. You do not have the right to change anyone else, just like no one else has the right to change you.

Think about it for a moment: God has the ability to change anything and anyone He wants to, but He does not do it. Instead, He gives us time and space to learn and grow through the ups, downs and sideways of life. If and when we are ready to make a change, then God is ready to empower us to do what we need to do, to live the better life we were created for.

“Put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23 and be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” -Ephesians 4:22-24

Stop blaming others and quit getting caught up in the delusion that you can fix others. If you are honest with yourself, you have to admit what a hard time you have fixing yourself. In fact, take your eyes off of others and give your life and living a hard and honest look. Determine what you need to change, decide what you can do about it and get to work.

It is true that we can’t change anyone else, but we can change ourselves and the change in our lives can serve as motivation for others to think about changing themselves too…

The Judgement Jam!

Judgement is a distraction! One of the big things I have seen that seems to get in the way of our advancing to the next level which we were created for, is getting caught up in judging others. When we judge others, we take the focus off of ourselves and totally miss what really matters and needs attention in our own life and living.

Other people’s opinion about you is none of your business and you should not waste your energy having opinions about others. This is one of the things that creates a negative domino effect in our life, because when our ego begins to worry about what others think of us, we start to look for ways to manufacture excuses, which motivates us in the negative direction of trying to go on a fishing expedition to find what is wrong with someone else.

In Matthew 7:1-5, Jesus teaches a classic lesson on why judging others is not part of the Master Plan for our life when he says: ”1 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

Our major problem is our limited vision. We can’t see everything and perspective definitely matters! We tend to see people from the outside and do not possess the power to look within to the deeper forces that influence and shape who they are, what they do and say, and how they act. And so it is important to remember that our focus need to be working on ourself not trying to straighten others out.

Our job is to accept, not judge or control. When we get this right, others will be positively impacted and as they begin to get it right too, we can grow together, which is a major part of our created purpose. We often fight battles and waste our energy on stuff that is none of our business and beyond our control. Learn to let these things go, so you can focus on ”your” stuff and you will be amazed at how the blessings begin to flow…