We live in a world that is always trying to shape us into what someone else thinks or says we should be and the real problem with that scenario is that the shape is always changing depending on who happens to be holding to loudest bullhorn at the time.
Most of us have things we would like to change about ourselves and most everyone at some point in their lives can come up with a pretty good list of things they would like to change about others, but if you live your life long enough, you will learn pretty quickly that you cannot change others, no matter how much you think you love them and/or how much you think they love you.
There have been times in my life when I have convinced myself that I could love, encourage, inspire, educate and motivate others to change to be their best self and live their best life, only to eventually come to the realization that the only thing that can change another person is themselves.
If a person does not want to change, then they won’t, it is as simple as that. There is nothing you can do to change someone else, so stop trying to fix everyone else and work on yourself, because we all have enough of our own stuff to deal with.
If you don’t like or love someone the way they are, then that is your problem, even if they are wrong and even if they are cheating or hurting themselves, because their life is their life to decide for themselves. You do not have the right to change anyone else, just like no one else has the right to change you.
Think about it for a moment: God has the ability to change anything and anyone He wants to, but He does not do it. Instead, He gives us time and space to learn and grow through the ups, downs and sideways of life. If and when we are ready to make a change, then God is ready to empower us to do what we need to do, to live the better life we were created for.
“Put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23 and be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” -Ephesians 4:22-24
Stop blaming others and quit getting caught up in the delusion that you can fix others. If you are honest with yourself, you have to admit what a hard time you have fixing yourself. In fact, take your eyes off of others and give your life and living a hard and honest look. Determine what you need to change, decide what you can do about it and get to work.
It is true that we can’t change anyone else, but we can change ourselves and the change in our lives can serve as motivation for others to think about changing themselves too…